What My Soul Already Knows: A Simple Poetry Practice for a Dark Night of the Soul

Jan 1

At the top of a collage is medium blue pool water. A black and white photo of a person dressed in all black carefully traversing a snow covered mountain. Just beyond is a jagged crevasse. On the other side is a bronze angular mountain.

Anchoring Into Deep Knowing

In the thick of a relational conflict years ago, I could not understand what my body was bracing against. Though I had no experience with poetry, I found my way into a surprisingly nourishing practice. Guided by a simple template called a “French Pantoum,” I remembered myself.

Attuning to my inner experience of the conflict helped me access things I already knew but could not reach directly amid the stress and my nervous system’s survival strategies.

It was powerful to name what I knew deep inside. Writing this poem was grounding—a way back to the wisdom that is already, always within me.

I’ve adapted that template as a Scaffold for Obscurity.

Writing a Pantoum for Obscurity

Here’s a practice that may help you slip below rational thinking and pro-con lists into intuition and wisdom. I hope this practice is as grounding for you as it has been for me.

Step-By-Step Instructions:

STANZA 1

Line 1: What it’s like when I’m connected and feeling alive (Try and tune into the good here)

Line 2: The inner experience of the hard thing I’m holding

Line 3: A song lyric that resonates with me

Line 4: Words of wisdom I would say to my younger self, or words of wisdom from a loved one that stick with me

STANZA 2

Line 5: (repeat of line 2 in stanza 1) The inner experience of the hard thing I’m holding

Line 6: (new line): My felt sense of what is hard right now (can be an image or a somatic sensation)

Line 7: (repeat of line 4 in stanza 1) Words of wisdom I would say to my younger self, or words of wisdom from a loved one that stick with me

Line 8: (new line): What I wish to feel or experience

STANZA 3

Line 9: (repeat line 6 of stanza 2) My felt sense of what is hard right now (can be an image or a somatic sensation)

Line 10: (repeat line 3 of the first stanza) A song lyric that resonates with me

Line 11: (repeat line 8 of stanza 2) What I wish to feel or experience

Line 12: (repeat line 1 of the first stanza) What it’s like when I’m connected and feeling alive

Here’s an example:

I can see the past, present, and future with a vast spaciousness.
I am so very tired of bracing.
Can I see I’m not my mistakes? Will I learn to let them go?
Life is hard, and that doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong.

I am so very tired of bracing.
I can’t seem to get a deep breath.
Life is hard, and that doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong.
I want to remember.

I can’t seem to get a deep breath.
Can I see I’m not my mistakes? Will I learn to let them go?
I want to remember.
I can see the past, present, and future with a vast spaciousness.

An example of a different pantoum (not quite the same as the format above).

I release the breath I’ve been holding, and my body softens into the moment.
I’m terrified, and I’m not totally sure why.
I see you, and I’m not going anywhere.
There’s a calming and a quickening. I am reminded that the way is made by walking.

I’m terrified, and I’m not totally sure why.
You are safe. You are loved. You are wise.
There’s a calming and a quickening. I am reminded that the way is made by walking.
I start feeling like myself again.

You are safe. You are loved. You are wise.
I see you, and I’m not going anywhere.
I start feeling like myself again.
I release the breath I’ve been holding, and my body softens into the moment.

If you want to share your poem with me, I’d love to read it!
You can listen to this podcast episode to hear more about the French Pantoum as a Scaffold for Lament with Tara Owens (one of my spiritual direction teachers), recorded at the very beginning of the pandemic. Her template is available in the show notes.

PRESENCE + SPACE | WITNESS + WITH-NESS

My name is Kirsten. Come and journey with me in spacious accompaniment/spiritual direction. It is a place to attune to your inner experiences over time, a place to ask questions and excavate intuitions in the spacious presence of a fellow traveler. I meet clients online and in person on Vashon-Maury Island in WA.